"Don't Just Go Through the Motions"

The time has come to sign up for next semester's classes. I was in quite a pickle because I, being the indecisive person that I am, couldn't decide which of two class options that I should go with. It seemed like a decent idea to ask my advisor for her thoughts. 

My question - "Should I take class #1 where I know that I will get an A or should I take the more challenging option class #2 and risk not getting a 100%?" Of course, she suggested that I go with the more challenging option. At this point I'm thinking "why couldn't she just recommend that I go with the easy A?" 

Her reasoning - "Don't just go through the motions." She then went on to say that graduate school is not just about getting my course list completed, getting as many A's as I can, and meeting the requirements needed to graduate. I need to get the most that I can out of each course instead of having the mindset of "I just need to get this done."  

Her advice stuck with me, because this idea of being present and getting the most out of each moment is something that I have a hard time doing. I've diagnosed myself with what I call Obsessive Type A Perfectionist Crazy Person Disorder. My mind goes a thousand miles a minute and while I'm completing one task I am thinking about the next task that needs to get done. Basically I have a bad habit of running about like a chicken with my head cut off. 

It's so easy to go about each day like a mindless zombie rushing from one obligation to the next without truly being present in each moment. I think that at some point we all tend to do this. We get so consumed with our meetings, appointments, and assignments that we miss out on the little things. We scarf down our breakfast without taking the time to acknowledge that we were blessed with waking up for another day, sit through an entire lecture taking fun quizzes on Buzzfeed instead of paying attention, and speed through traffic to get to work on time without admiring the beauty of the world around us (and my, are Tucson's mountain ranges beautiful). 

It's time to start being more present. Life is passing us by and we're rushing through it like it's some sort of race. Not to be morbid, but approaching the finish line doesn't sound or look too appealing. 

I challenge everyone, including myself, to work on this. Call grandma - not while scrolling through twitter, watching your favorite tv show, or fixing your dinner. Call her and really ask her how she's doing. Go to your classes and meetings, and stay focused on the presented material the entire time. Enjoy the moments that you hadn't pinned into your schedule. You might plan to head home right when church ends so that you can get all of your assignments done. But as soon as the final prayer lets out with "Amen" the little girl next to you sees a perfect opportunity to pull out her mom's phone to show you photos of herself in her new Frozen dress. Engage in conversation with her, tell her how much you love her outfit, and let her rave about how much fun she has twirling around in it. 

Don't miss out on the little things (and the little people) because you're too busy going through the motions. 

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xo, 

Deija :)

Photo By: Hope Hicks 

Arizona - First Impressions

Hello everyone!!

I haven't been able to post in a few weeks because I moved, and then I had some technical issues with Lola (my Mac). She's all fixed now though, so I can get back to blogging! :)

I recently made a huge cross country move as many of you may already know, and I thought I would do a quick post to talk about my thoughts on Tucson so far.

1. It's beautiful.
I have never been that much of an outdoor person, but being in a place like this makes you want to spend all the time you can outside. I've never seen skies so blue, and I don't think I'll be getting tired of the palm trees anytime soon. 

2. Every day is HOT.
Some days are just hotter than others, but no day is not hot. In Arizona, a 85 degree summer day is considered cool.

3. The mountains are everywhere.
This goes hand in hand with #1 but it deserves it's own point. I can see mountains from my bed, my living room, and when I am shopping at my Target (the shot below was actually taken from its parking lot on my iPhone- no filter or editing was done to the shot. yes the sky is that blue and the mountains appear that close). You can see one of the mountain ranges from everywhere around here. We are surrounded by the beautiful mountains, and I am slowly learning which range is which.

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Of course more updates on my new home and school will come soon, but until then thank you for reading! :)

xo, Deija

Transition

Yesterday brought back overwhelming nostalgia, and a warm feeling of promise for what is to come. The week has finally come for me to move to Arizona for graduate school -- my PhD program is 5 years btw, so this move is huge. I went back to my hometown to clean out my old bedroom, and I stumbled upon way too many old memories from elementary, junior high, and high school. As I was rustling through everything in an attempt to decide what to throw away or keep, I was reminded that with this move I am leaving so much behind. Nearly anything that has ever brought me joy or pain in life lies within Ohio. 

I am grateful for everything here that has brought me pain, because each painful moment forced me to grow. I am grateful for each moment of joy, because with each moment I was reminded that there is beauty to be found in our world's haze of despair. Ohio has left me with nothing more to give, so it's time that I see what I can offer the west coast. 

Today will be spent packing up my apartment in preparation for this cross country move. With this move, I am at peace. There was no better time than now for me to continue my journey elsewhere. At this moment, this is exactly what I should be doing. My future is promising, and I am blessed with the opportunity to start anew.

My last few days here will be spent making a few more memories with those who I love. In less than a week I'll be the Grand Canyon state's newest resident! 

You could say that I'm elated. I will not argue that.

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xo, 

Deija 

My 7 Commandments for Long & Healthy Natural Hair

When you have thick natural hair [no relaxing chemicals or extensions], you're bound to get at least a few questions here and there about your hair care and/or products used. Keep reading to find out how I keep my hair healthy, long, and thick! 

Disclaimer: I am not a professional, this is just what I do to my hair, and what works for me :) Also, yes I am 100% black. 

1. "Dust" your hair frequently. 
A "dusting" is what is done to remove split ends that you can visibly see. A professional cosmetologist would probably tell you that this is unnecessary, but I cannot stand to look at a split end and just leave it there. I have a pair of shears (not normal scissors), and I cut off split ends whenever I see them. Every once in a while I do a trim where I actually take off about an inch all over, but for the most part I just do a dusting whenever I see an end that I don't like. 

2. Only use shampoo when absolutely necessary.  
Shampooing too often dries my hair out, and strips it of it's natural oils. The only time I put shampoo in my hair is when I am about to straighten it. I find that I need to remove the product build - up to get it as straight as I'd like. The shampoo that I have used the past few times is the Paul Mitchell Instant Moisture Shampoo, and I pair it with the Paul Mitchell Instant Moisture Daily Treatment Conditioner. When I get out of the shower I put in It's a 10 Miracle Leave In. My hair usually stays straight for about 1.5-2 weeks, so during that time I am not shampooing or co-washing. When I leave my hair in it's natural curls I only use a conditioner to co-wash. For the past few months I have been using the Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Conditioner. 

3. Take deep conditioning seriously. 
The most difficult part of maintaining my naturally curly hair is retaining the moisture. For deep conditioning I put the product in my hair, put my hair in a bun, sleep, and wash it out in the morning. I use coconut oil and Joico K-PAK Intense Hydrator. 

4. Drink water. 
I limit any beverage that is not water. I drink water with every meal, and drink it frequently throughout each day. It is essential to your overall health, and it definitely helps with your hair and skin. Read more about how I keep my skin healthy here. 

5. Eat well. 
Aside from the curly fries I'm eating in the photo shown above (it was a treat),  I eat healthy for the most part. My diet is full of avocado, eggs, apples, watermelon, mango, lean ground turkey, whole grains, and chicken breast. When I grocery shop I limit putting unhealthy foods in my basket - so if I get hungry during the day at home, I only have nutritious choices to reach for. 

6. Sleep on satin. 
Split ends are the bane of my existence, so I do everything in my power to avoid getting them. Sleeping with a satin bonnet or on a satin pillowcase/sheets is important. 

7. Do not detangle wet hair with a comb. 
I am very gentle when detangling my hair. I only detangle it with my fingers. It takes a while sometimes, but it's must better than yanking at it with a comb. 


Products I Use When My Hair is Naturally Curly 
Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Conditioner 
Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie 
Kinky Curly Curling Custard 


Products I Use When I Straighten My Hair 
Paul Mitchell Instant Moisture Shampoo 
Paul Mitchell Instant Moisture Daily Treatment Conditioner 
Joico K-PAK Intense Hydrator 
It's a 10 Miracle Leave In Conditioner 
Tresemme Heat Protectant 
Biosilk Silk Therapy 
Redken Anti-Snap Leave In Treatment 

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I hope you enjoyed reading! 

Find the nail polish I'm wearing here. 
Use the code LAUGH10 to get 10% off your purchase site-wide on LoxaBeauty's website. 

xo, Deija 

Crockpot Honey Sesame Chicken

Finding time to prepare a meal for yourself while being a full time college student is difficult. but it can be done. During my senior year I bought a crockpot, and I've had many great meals because of it. I wanted to share one of my favorites! 

My best friend recommended that I try this Honey Sesame Chicken, and it has never let me down. Throw some thawed chicken breasts in your crockpot, toss in the ingredients for the sauce, and let it cook for 4 hours on low. I will admit I don't follow the recipe all that closely, so feel free to add in more or take out whatever you do not like. After all, you're the one eating it! :) 

Ingredients: 

2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts 

salt and pepper 

1/2 cup of honey 

1/4 cup of low sodium soy sauce 

1/8 cup ketchup 

1 tbsp. vegetable oil 

3 cloves of garlic, minced  

1/4 cup of diced onion 

1 tsp red pepper flakes (I usually use more)

2 tbsp cornstarch 

sesame seeds & chives to sprinkle on top  

Instructions: 

1. Season chicken breasts on both sides with salt & pepper. Put them into the crockpot. 

2. Throw in the honey, soy sauce, ketchup, vegetable oil, garlic, onion, and red pepper flakes. 

3. Stir it around the chicken, and ensure that it is covered. 

4. Cook on low for 3-4 hours or high for 1-2.5 hours 

5. Remove chicken from crockpot and cut it into pieces at your desired size. 

6. Put cornstarch into the sauce to thicken it up. 

7. Put the chicken pieces back into the crockpot, and coat it well. 

Serve your chicken over rice. Sprinkle on some sesame seeds and chives, and enjoy! 

This recipe was modified from TableForTwoBlog 

xo, Deija 

Bold Shoes - Valentino Look for Less

Lately I've been obsessing over heels.  This pair is comparable to the popular Valentino Rockstuds, but they cost much less.

Since this shoe is so bold I kept the outfit simple to keep the focus all on the shoe. I paired them with one of my favorite pairs of jeans (they are so comfy AND they're on sale right now) and a black tank.

Jeans/ Similar Top/ Bag/ Midi Rings/ Bangle/ Shoe in Pink (black pair is sold out)/ Necklace/ Lipstick (Amorous)

Find my nail polish here. Use the code LAUGH10 for 10% off sitewide on LoxaBeauty.

I made sure to pack these shoes, and some of my favorite jewelry pieces shown in this outfit for mine and my best friend's trip to Miami Beach this weekend. I'm so looking forward to seeing everything this city has to offer! If you have any suggestions about places to go or things to see, let me know :) 

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Photos By: Hope Hicks
Thanks for reading!
xo, Deija

Lessons I Learned In College: 5 Things I Would Tell My Freshman Self

College is about much more than your classes. I could write an entire novel about the lessons I learned during my years in undergrad. For now, I'll keep it short. If I were able to go back to talk to myself on the first day of college these are 5  of the things I would say. 

1. Filter out the bad advice from people your own age.
At some point you're going to need some advice on a situation. Don't expect other 17 and 18 year olds to know all (or any) of the answers. You need to seek advice from significant older figures in your life who know what they're talking about. This could be anyone - family members, advisors, campus counselors, etc. If you're faced with a dilemma, you can almost guarantee that one of these older people have experienced something similar at some point in their lives. Lean on them for advice. 

2. You will fail at something, and that is ok. 
This is still hard for me to accept, because I try so hard to be a perfectionist at nearly everything. While I would like for everything to go as I'd like, that is not realistic in the real world. There will be an exam you won't do so well on even when you studied all night, there will be a position you'll interview for and won't get, and you probably will not get accepted into every single grad school or med school you apply to. At some point we must accept that life is full of these speed bumps, but you have to get over them and learn how to move forward. 

3. Do whatever makes your heart happy - even if that means doing it alone. 
Your friends are not always going to be into the same thing as you. That isn't a reason why you should not do it. I used to only go places if I had someone to go with. Now I am more than happy to go on outings by myself. If you want to go to the gym but have no one to go with - go anyways. If you are dying to see a Pixar movie but no one wants to see it with you - walk to the theatre, get yourself some popcorn, and enjoy. If you want to go to church service on Sunday- do it. You cannot spend your life waiting around for everyone else all the time. Don't let your college experience go to waste. 

4. Don't forget your cheerleaders once you get on campus. 
Everyone has different cheerleaders. Mine are my family. Once you get to campus don't forget about your family and those friends from high school who are supporting you from afar. Make sure you keep in contact! These are the people who helped get you to where you are in the first place. 

5. You are going to meet plenty of people with different beliefs than yours - do not judge them.  
In the 4 years of undergrad you are for sure going to do or say something that you should not. So why judge anyone else for what they do? You aren't perfect. Every person on campus has a story that dictates their decisions, beliefs, and perspective. Instead of judging them, take time to learn from them. There isn't a person on this earth who you can't learn something from. 

Photo By: Hope Hicks
As always, thanks for reading! 
xo, Deija 

The Versatile Blog Award

I was recently nominated for the Versatile Blog Award by the lovely Rebecca who writes the blog Life As A Dare. Everything about her and her blog is fabulous, so please take the time to check it out :)

The rules to this award are as follows:
1. Thank the person who nominated you
2. Link to their blog
3. List 7 things about yourself
4. Select 15 blogs/bloggers that you've recently discovered or follow regularly

Now, let's get on to the 7 random facts!

1. My favorite animals are manatees.
2. I can name all of the US presidents in order. 
3. I'm obsessed with Ed Sheeran.  
4. My little brother is the best thing that's ever happened to me. 
5. My favorite color is white. 
6. I've listened to Sam Hunt - "Leave the Night On" over 20 times in the past 24 hours. 
7. I never went to preschool. 

The Blogs I Nominate (sorry I couldn't think of 15) 
Lornaheartstoday
krystal- Nicole
Anna-Alina
Totebag and Cotton
The Blonde Breakthrough



I recommend each one of these blogs. Have a great day! :) 

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Thanks for reading! 
xo, Deija 

High Waisted Shorts & Fringe

High waisted distressed shorts and fringe go together like peanut butter & apples.  They're both a summer staple. I also love high waisted shorts, because they tend to give the illusion of longer legs. 

I paired mine with simple jewelry, a pair of old white converse, and a baggy shirt. The perfect comfy outfit for a day at a fair, carnival, or festival. 

Similar Shorts/ Shirt/  Shoes/ Similar Bag/ Necklace / Lipstick (Amorous)

Find the nail polish I'm wearing here. Use the code LAUGH10 for 10% off any purchases on the LoxaBeauty website.

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Photos By: Hope Hicks
Only a few more days until the 4th of July! What are your plans? 
xo, Deija

Red Lip Colors for the 4th of July

We're quickly approaching the one of day of the year where it is acceptable to obnoxiously wear red, white, & blue together in one outfit without looking a bit ridiculous [excluding Arizona Wildcats game days]. It gives us an excuse to wear the brightest red lip that we own!

Keep reading to see my favorite 3 lip colors for the 4th! 

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Revlon Color Burst Matte Balm - "250 Standout"

This one is actually a balm that acts as a lip stain. It has a minty smell and it kind of moisturizes your lips. Since it stains your lips, it's hard to take it off but that also means re-application is barely necessary! If you're not going to be in the mood to constantly re-apply your lip color, and you want to focus on having a good time on the 4th, go for this one. Find it here. 






Rimmel London Kate Moss Lipstick - "01"

This color is a bit brighter than the Revlon Color Burst, and it is a lipstick. If you prefer the consistency of a lipstick, then this color is more for you. It goes on smooth, and does not dry matte so it will not dry out your lips. Find this one here. 






MAC Viva Glam 1

OF COURSE I had to include one of my favorite MAC colors in this post. Viva Glam 1 is the red that looks good on pretty much everyone, and is always sold out at MAC. This one is not as bright, so if you want red but nothing too "out there" this more subtle one may be your best bet. It dries matte. Find it here. 

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If you want a non-red lip color for the 4th then head over to my post Lip Colors for Summer for some inspiration. 

I still haven't decided which red I'll be wearing for the 4th, but it will certainly be one of these 3. Which one will be your choice? Let me know in the comments! :) 

Photos By: Hope Hicks 
xo, Deija 

Aztec Print Sundress

Sundresses are my absolute favorite piece of clothing. I love summer because I can wear a sundress nearly every day. They're easy because you can pair them with a cute pair of heels, add some jewelry and your favorite bag and you're good to go!

I wore this dress to a banquet a while back, and got nonstop compliments on it. It has an aztec print with a beautiful bow back detail.

Similar Dress (dress shown is sold out) Another Similar Dress/ Similar Shoes/ Watch/ Bangle/ Rings/ Anklet/ Similar Bag (bag shown was found at an outlet location a while ago - probably out of date)

Find the nail polish I'm wearing here. Use the code LAUGH10 for 10% off purchases on LoxaBeauty. 

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Photos By: Hope Hicks
Thank you for reading!
xo, Deija

How I Chose My Career - My Road to School Psychology

At the age of 5 I told my parents "I want to work at McDonalds forever and make lots of money", at age 10 I was certain I would be a Dentist, at 16 I thought I would be a Teacher, and at 17 I was certain I would be a Physical Therapist. Then of course we cannot forget about the years in between where I went back and forth on becoming a Lawyer. What a road, huh?

Here we are at 21, and I am going to graduate school to get my PhD in School Psychology. I can honestly say that I have never been more certain about a decision. Everything about this excites me, and I know it is the career for me. Here I will give a bit of insight into how I got to this point.

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Freshman year I went into undergrad with the major Athletic Training - the goal was to use it as a stepping stone to become a Physical Therapist. I hated it, and since I was so miserable I barely ever did my work.  I'll never forget going into a final that I had not studied for and guessing every single answer. As you can see, this route was not for me - and yeah, I bombed that final.

Soon I changed my major to Human Development and Family Sciences thinking that I would do something family/children related. I had always loved kids. My junior high years were spent volunteering at my church's nursery and during high school I volunteered at the local Children's Services Department.

At the beginning of my sophomore year I decided I was too confused about everything and that I should just make my major Undecided. That semester was where I constantly heard from upperclassmen that "You should decide by sophomore year on your major. You can't go into Junior year Undecided." *rolls eyes* So I continued to take general courses, and hoped that I would come to some decision eventually.

Spring of Sophomore Year. Age 19. - The turning point. I decided to go with Early Childhood Education to become a Teacher (ok so we're almost there, but not there yet). I shadowed an elementary teacher for the semester, and realized that it was absolutely not for me. 

What I loved - being around students all day, spending the day in a school, helping them achieve their goals, encouraging them, interacting with their parents, learning about each child's needs, watching them succeed, learning about the education system, and learning how to improve the education system. And of course I loved hearing all the cute little voices call out to "Miss Deija" if they had a question or concern. They melted my heart every single day. 

What I did not enjoy - teaching. *Lightbulb!* I just needed to find a career where I could do all these things but not actually do the whole teaching lessons and leading a classroom part.

I made the major switch to Early and Middle Childhood Studies since it was more general, and I would still be able to learn about children and education. I did TONS of researching and decided to apply to graduate programs in School Psychology. 

So now here we are! This fall I will be starting my Master's/PhD Program in School Psychology. "The little girl who wanted to work at the McDonald's drive thru as a long term career is going to be a Dr.!?" - one of my parents' favorite lines. As a School Psychologist I will be able to do everything I just listed plus even more. It is my dream job. Also I should mention that psychology courses were my absolute favorite during both high school and undergrad. Deep down inside I think I always knew I was meant to be a Psychologist of some sort. You know you've found your career when you can say "I get to do this!?" instead of "I have to do this." It took quite a while to get to this point, but thankfully I got here.

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I want to leave you with this thought - don't feel discouraged if it's taking you a while to find your purpose and your passion. Everyone doesn't know from the time they come out the womb what they want to do forever. Props to those people, but we aren't all like that. Give it time, and it'll come to you! 

I hope you enjoyed reading.
How long did it take you to find your passion? Let me know in the comments, and have a fabulous day. 

xo, Deija 

10 Netflix Shows to Binge Watch

I will be the first to tell you that I am a homebody and an introvert. I can sit in the same spot for 3 days straight watching tv, reading, and eating and I will never get bored. I always dread that question in interviews when they ask "so what do you like to do in your free time?" - the answer I really want to say is "sit for hours and hours on my computer" but I refrain. 

So, I wanted to share with you 10 shows to watch on Netflix if you are looking for something new to do in your spare time. If you'll notice, all of them have a strong female lead since those are the shows I usually gravitate towards (gotta support other women right?) I also will attempt to give descriptions of each show in my own words. Don't mind the rambled and scattered summaries - just accept that I tried. 

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1. Hart of Dixie 
There's this doctor from New York, Zoe Hart. She just finds out that her biological father was also a doctor but in Blue Bell Alabama. He dies and she decides to move there to take his place in his practice. This one is more of an easy watch - corny, some funny moments, but at some point I really just could not stop watching because I needed to know what was going to happen to the characters. 

2. Revenge 
My favorite show ever. It's kind of a mystery. Emily's father was wrongfully accused of a crime when she was a child, so she makes it her entire life mission to get revenge on the people who were responsible. She's intense, strong, and intelligent - all the characteristics you need in a woman who's out to ruin everyone's life who ruined hers. This is a must watch! 

3. Once Upon a Time
This show was introduced to me my junior year of undergrad, and for about 2 weeks straight I wanted to do nothing but watch this. Story book characters such as Cinderella, Snow White, Prince Charming, etc. are placed in modern time and do not realize that they are out of place. It's really cool.

4. Gossip Girl 
If you're a girly girl like me, I'm sure you've watched this series at least once. No need to even give a description. 

5. Witches of East End 
Two women find out that they are witches, and that their mother kept it from them all their lives. A bunch of creepy, and out of the ordinary instances occur throughout the show. I don't necessarily believe in witchcraft or anything like that, but it's interesting to watch.

6. Ringer 
This one was only on for one season before it got canceled, but it was still a good watch. A woman was convicted of murder, runs away to her twin sister, her sister goes missing, so she takes the identity of her twin sister. 

7. Young and Hungry 
This comedy stars Emily Osment (you may remember her from Hannah Montana). She's a food blogger turned personal chef. Cute show. 

8. Chasing Life 
I mentioned this one in my post "A Lesson About Thankfulness and Complaining". A young woman radio host has just been diagnosed with leukemia. It can be heavy at times, but the producers do a decent job of also making the show kind of light.

9. Nikita 
Another one of my favorites, and a must watch! There is a government program called Division who takes criminals from death row and forces them to work as assassins for the US government. Nikita was a recruit of the program who escaped, and is now doing everything she can to shut down Division. Another strong female lead. 

10. Pretty Little Liars 
This is the hit ABC family show based off of a book series. Four girls are stalked and tortured by someone named "A." There's much more to it than that, but my skills of describing shows are lacking. If you have never watched it, just give it a chance.  I've been watching this since high school, and it does not seem to be going away anytime soon. 


Other Shows I Haven't Watched Yet, But My Friends Have Recommended 
Grey's Anatomy 
Orange is the New Black 
Scandal 
Breaking Bad 

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That's all I have for now! If you know of any other Netflix shows, let me know. Have a great weekend everyone! 

xo, Deija